FSI Blog

Raman Says: Hi Anjali,I am Raman 29 unmarried, well my problem is with intercourse I cum after 50 or 60 mins. And my girlfriend cums just after 20 mins, after that it takes another 10 mins to make her ready for 2nd round. What can I do to reduce my time of orgasm. Plz suggest me. Thanks!

Aunty Anjali says: Hi Raman, thanks for writing in. WOW, how many men would love to have your problem! As you can read through many of my readers most men have problems with cumming too quickly and would love to last longer. But if your girlfriend has an orgasm much faster then you it is a problem. First off she is also very lucky to be able to have an orgasm quickly during your intercourse. Some women take much longer to orgasm while others can’t have an orgasm no matter what they do.

To help you with your problem I would suggest that you spend longer on your foreplay together before starting intercourse. What you need to do is stimulate your penis for about 20-30 minutes before you have sex so that you will be farther along on your way to cum. After some practice you should be able to time it so that you can cum at the same time or close to it anyways. Start off by having her stroke your penis for sometime and then move on to oral sex. She can continue to stimulate your penis and when you think you are half way to orgasm you will can move on to intercourse together which should time things so that you are very close in your orgasms. Again this will take some practice and experimenting, but you should have a lot of fun doing so.

Good luck and have fun.

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Maddy Says: Hi Anjali…how are you..I am 22yrs old..my problem is .I am masturbating for the past 3yrs…but I am using the same method.. I see sex movies..and think about anything and shake my penis up and down through hands is there any other method to masturbating except this were I can enjoy more and more. Please help me..

Aunt Anjali says: Hi Maddy, You wouldn’t believe how often I get asked this question. Male masturbation techniques and how to maximize pleasure by yourself. I am a firm believer in the more you know your own body and what pleases you the better you can be as a lover for the rest of your life. After all if you don’t know what pleases you how can you be pleased by others. I fully support you try and experiment with your body to see what feels good for you. Here are some techniques used by men over the years:

Hand Vagina 1: Make a fist, but instead of grabbing your penis, push the tip through your fist. Keep going until the tip is about to come out the other side, then continue the “vagina” with your other hand. Keep rotating your hands, one in front of the other, as you perpetually penetrate an endless vagina.

Oily Orgasm: Place some lubrication on the palm of one hand. Then, slowly rub the tip of your penis against the lubricated palm. Continue rubbing, varying the speed to suit your pleasure. You’ll find that this produces a unique type of orgasm.

Pinch of Pleasure: Gently pinch the loose skin just below the tip of the penis. Begin rubbing your fingers together, as though you were feeling a piece of soft cloth. You won’t feel much until you hit the final surge, but it will come on like a wave.

Belly Love: Make sure you’re fully erect, then tilt your penis straight up towards your belly button and slowly rub the shaft against your stomach. Hold your penis just below the tip, using your thumb to press your penis into your stomach. Increase speed and direction to suit your taste. A little lubrication on this one will increase the sensations.

Fruit Love: Find a small watermelon and make sure it is room temperature. Cut a hole about the size of your penis into the melon. Find a quiet place and thrust your erect penis in and out of the hole until you orgasm. You will be surprised at how real it feels. This is a very popular method among young men.

Explore your body and enjoy!

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Ashu Says: Dear Anjali,
I’m a hyper active in sex and would prefer to have sex at least once in the night with my wife, but my wife is just the opposite, she is not at all interested in sex and we have sex hardly twice in a month. To relieve my self of my sexual tension and pressure i tend to masturbate very often. Now a days im getting really frustrated due to this. What ever cajoling, my wife is least bothered about sex. The moment she hits the bed in the night she is fast asleep. Anjali, please tell me what to do.

Aunt Anjali says: Hi Ashu, Thanks for writing in. Your problem is not uncommon, there are many husbands in your position. It often seems that men want to have sex non-stop while the wife has little to no interest in sexual activity. I assure you this is not the case but women need more then just your penis thrusting in and out of them. The first thing you want to do is plan a nice romantic evening together alone and discuss this your troubles and find out why she is abstaining from sex. Do not get angry or upset no matter what she answers, be supportive. She will likley say she is too tired to have sex when she gets into bed or she will say that the sex is over too quickly for her to really enjoy it so she just doesn’t bother. Again do not take this personally or get upset at her. No matter what she answers you have just moved ahead in solving the problem.

If she is too tired to have sex at nite then you need to make sure you both go to bed a half an hour or even better one hour earlier so that you can spend this time being intimate. When you do get to bed and ready for sex make sure that you focus on her and not your own orgasm. Men will have an orgasm almost every time during sex so you should always focus on the woman. Spend sometime with foreplay, give her oral pleasure with your tongue and also use your fingers. I encourage you not to stop doing so until she is really wet and even has an orgasm. You can then start sex with her and again focus on the act of sex and not on you having an orgasm. If you follow these steps you will see how often your wife actually wants to hop in bed with you. She will be asking for it all the time.

Good luck and have fun together.

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Rahul Says: I am a student and my penis gets erect automatically. I cant do anything but only feel ashamed in school please tell me something.

Aunty Anjali says: Hi Rahul. Do not stress about this. It is normal for young males to have uncontrollable erections all the time. It is part of growing up and all men go through it. While it can be embarrassing to have an erection at the wrong moment you have nothing to be ashamed of. And most of the time there is no one that is noticing you erection other than your self.

Here is a few tips that can help you in a when you are in a situation with a unwanted erection:

* Think of your grandma or your favorite sport or anything non-sexual that will distract you.
* Place a Jacket, sweater or a other object on your lap to cover it up.

And my last and really effective tip! Put the the head of your penis between your belly and the elastic on your underwear, your erection will disappear quickly! it will stop the blood circulation.

The most important thing is not to worry about it and know that everyone is in the same position as you. Stay focused on your school work and get yourself good grades. That will both distract you from your erections and also help you become successful in your life.

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Kashif Says: Hi Anjali, I am 28 years old and still a virgin . I started to masturbate in 1997 and I have been doing this for about about 11 years . In the early years it was fun for me and I like it but with the passage of time the frequency increased and now I do it on a daily basis but I am trying to forget this habit because my weight increased so much and the doctor has warned me about the weight . I am trying to start fitness exercise but in 2-3 minutes I am tired . I don’t like any thing and feel so much pain in my knees, hands and back pain . So let me advise that all these thing happened with me as a result of masturbation . I am so worried because next year I am marrying . If same situation continue then it will ruin my married life so give some advise on what to do.

Aunt Anjali says: Hi Kashif, I read your question and would like to offer you some advise. First lets talk about your weight issues. This is the most important issue that you are dealing with. Being healthy is important for both your well being but also your future sex life. The healthier you are the better you will be able to perform for your future wife. I would encourage you to visit your doctor once again and explain the difficulties you are having with your knees, hands and back during exercise. When you are first starting out it is very difficult to exercise very long and even harder to stay motivated. I have a friend who has been facing similar issues and he often found it hard to stay motivated since he did not see instant improvement. But he stuck with it and instead of exercising more he decided on easier workouts that would not tire him so much. I suggest you start with walking and only a manageable distance to start. You can walk with a friend or to the grocery store or in the park. As you walk more and more you will be able to walk longer and soon start to run a little bit too. But take your time there is no rush, walk only for at least one month and let your body tell you when its ready for more.

As for the masturbation problem. Masturbation is a healthy part of a persons life and is surely not responsible for your weight issues. You should feel free to masturbate as often as you wish as long as it does not interfere with your regular life. Some people masturbate once a week or less, some once a day and others more often as long as it doesn’t interfere with work or other responsibilities.

I wish you well in your new marriage and hope you have a healthy sex life and make sure to make regular exercise and good diet part of your life.

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Amit Gupta says: Hi, Recently I visited a sex worker but had erectile problems.However when I have sex with my wife I face no such problems. Please comment.

Aunt Anjali says: Hi Amit. Thanks for your question. When someone is married and seeks out a sex worker or prostitute it can be common to have problems. Some people have erection problems while others simply cannot bring themselves to actually get in bed with the woman when the time comes. The issue you have not uncommon at all. What you are feeling is guilt that you are with someone other than your wife. The guilt that you are doing something you know you shouldn’t be doing and will hurt your wife emotionally if she was to find out. As you feel this guilt your penis responds by not becoming erect. This is easy to tell since you have no problems performing with your wife.

The real issue you are facing is why do you seek intercourse with prostitutes instead of your wife? I would guess there is one of two reasons. The first reason is you want to have sex with someone else since you have been making love to the same woman over and over for a long time now. If this is the case I would advise you to discuss some fantasy role playing with her. You could ask her to dress like anything you like. Some fun fantasies are to pretend to be strangers meeting for the first time or to pretend she is your favorite movie star. If you would like you can also have her pretend to be a prostitute and dress up in a sex outfit and you can go through the whole routine. This will surely spice up your sex life!

The other reason men seek prostitutes is that they want to try something sexually that their spouse would not do. This could be oral sex, anal sex or a personal fetish of some sort. Again my advice would be to talk to your spouse and see if there is anything she would like to try. A fun game to play is to each take a paper and write down 5 things that you would like to do. Each love making session with your wife take the paper and do one item of each list. Make sure to alternate your list and hers. This will allow you two to explore each others fantasies and will open the door to a healthier sex life.

Above all communicate with your wife about your sexual needs. She loves you and only wants to please you. Your sex life will be great and you can use the money you would otherwise spend on prostitutes on romantic dinners.

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Sunny Jan Says: Few days ago…. I meet with my girlfriend first time….when I saw her body I noticed that her nipples are bigger than normal females nipples….

Can you tell me that what is the reason behind that? Has she already had sex with any one else? Please tell me I’m so tensed about the matter….

Aunt Anjali says: Hello Sunny Jan thanks for writing me. I am happy to hear that you have a new girlfriend now and are getting to experience sex and explore each other bodies. How fun!

On the subject of your girlfriends nipples or any girls nipples for that matter. All breasts are unique to her and only her much like a mans penis. While most look similar no two sets of breasts or nipples are exactly the same, each one is unique. There is no such thing as normal when it comes to the human body as we are all created a little bit different. Some women have large breasts with small nipples and some women have small breasts with large nipples. I encourage you to enjoy her body the way it is. If she has large nipples then you have that much more to enjoy with your lips, tongue and hands too. I am sure she loves it when you play with them and lick them as they will create a wonderful sensation for her. In my time I have seen many types of nipples and each one presents a new sexual adventure, keep exploring what she likes and doesn’t like you to do to them in the bedroom. I would suggest not to worry about the shape and size but instead focus on having fun with them. Find yourself a soft feather or some ice cubes and see how she enjoys that in the bedroom. Remember we are all unique and have our own distinct features on our bodies.

To answer if she has been with anyone else before you. You can not tell this by the size or shape of her nipples or breasts, there is no relation to breasts and virginity. The only way to tell for sure is to ask her and trust in what she tells you. Again I would suggest you not stress about the issue and instead focus on having some fun together.

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Raman.S Says:

Hi Anjali. I am 32 years old. Whenever I find time, I love to read your answers. They are really interesting.
My problem is that I like to masturbate. The past 12 years I have tried to stop now and then but I can’t. I am really worried about not being able to stop. Also, when I masturbate, I immediately ejaculate (less than a minute). Now I am planning to get married. Am I really eligible to get married? Would you please suggest how to enjoy sex fully and then ejaculate. thanks

Anjali says:

Hi Raman! I think it is great that you really enjoy reading my answers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you enjoying masturbation. I masturbate myself everyday. Sometimes twice a day! The more you masturbate, the more in touch with your body you are. You will be able to show your bride just how you like your penis touched, licked and your balls fondled. You are more than eligeable to get married.

You can include your bride with your masturbation as well. Both of you can masturbate together. It will be a huge turn on for both of you. When you are having sex with your bride, make sure that you spend a large amount of time with oral sex. Have her suck your cock, glide her tongue lightly up the shaft while she is looking into your eyes. You can return the favor by nibbling and licking her slick pussy. Bring her to the brink of orgasm then stop.

Slide your penis into her slick pussy, play with her clit while you are doing so. To make sure you don’t ejaculate soon, think of something else besides the pleasure you are feeling. It will help. Another thing you can try, is when you start to get the urge, pull your cock out of her pussy. Place your finger in her vagina. Slide it in and out until your urge to cum has gone. Then you can slide your penis back into her vagina and continue intercourse. This will help also. (This method will increase the power of your orgasm!)

I hope this helps you out!

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Gaurav sharma Says:

Hi,Aunty Anjali. You are doing a good job. My problem is that when I am having sex, liquid ejecting from my penis. This is happening every time. When I am reading your blogs I have same problem as faced by others. Please give a solution. Tell me is it bad for my health or sex life?

Anjali says:

Hi Gaurav Sharma. I really appreciate your compliment. It sounds like you are experiencing precum. It is perfectly normal and not bad for your sex life or your health.

I really like it when my boyfriend’s cock starts dribbling precum when I am between his legs and my tongue is lightly licking his balls. It shows me that I have him extremely excited and he really appreciates what I am doing to bring him pleasure.

Does this bother your sex partner when you do this? You should have your partner do as I described above, you will reap from the mind blowing orgasms that it will bring you.

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rachit Says:

Hi Anjali, I am Rachit and I am newly married. I am very happy to know that you help everybody. My problem is when i have sex with my wife, her vagina becomes painful so mostly I am not enjoying my married life. so please suggest to me what should I do?

Anjali says:

Hi Rachit. I am glad that my helping people brings you happiness. I am sorry to hear that you are not enjoying your married life. I do have some suggestions though that could very well assist you in penetration to your wife.

I sounds like that she is dry when you are inserting your penis. What you need to do is spend alot of time with foreplay. Make sure you pay special attention to her clit with your tongue. Take your tongue and gently flick her clit and lightly nibble. Take your finger and slowly slide it into her pussy. In and out, feel her pussy juices coat your finger.

You need to make sure she is well lubed when you are having sex. This will help both of you out by preventing pain in her vagina.

If you have a question that you’d like Aunty Anjali to answer click here and leave a comment at the bottom of this post with your question in it!