FSI Blog

crazy hubby says:

Hi dear Anjali aunty, I am trying to do a crazy thing, please help.

I have been visiting this blog for couple of years now & really appreciate the advice, guidance & suggestions given by you. It’s really nice to know that from our country there is some one to whome we all can turn to get answers, advice to these complicated things which is seen as uncommon in our country.

Now I think I need your precious advice. It’s been just over a year since I got married to a very beautiful girl. she loves me a lot & so do I. Sometime back I took her to one of my office party & there one of our collegue was literally looking at my wife & I don’t know why but I really got turned on by this, I don’t know whether this is normal among other newely married husbands, but that’s what I felt.

From that day I started thinking about what if my wife has sex with him. When I went to my office I went to him & frankly asked him why was he staring at my wife & he started complementing my wife’s beauty & I just cut the topic there. After couple of days I met him again & we sat down & I frankly told him that I really liked when he was staring my wife & he also expressed his desire to bed my wife with him & I told him that I’ll have to first find out whether my wife is intrested in this & this is where I need your help.

Although he has seen my wife in the party, I don’t think my wife would remember him since they never met. I thought to my self that I’ll introduce him to my wife & he can try & seduce her & finally he can have her & infact this is the plan we worked out. Now I just can’t go to my wife & ask her that would she like to have sex with this guy, I am afraid that incase she doesn’t like it our relationship would be strained. So before doing anything I want to make sure from her actions whether she likes or would accept extramarital sex if it happens to her & I request you to please tell me the signs I can get from her if she was intrested in this kind of things.

Please tell me in our day to day life what are the signs I should look for which would indicate that my wife likes or wouldn’t mind having sex with another man. If the signs from her are positive only then I will goahead & introduce him to my wife. I don’t want my wife to come to know that I am involved in this & if all goes well & once my wife has had sex with him, then I am planning to slowly let her know that I knew about this & it was perfectly OK with me & want to reassure her that I still love her as much as I did before this incedent, if at all this incedent takes place.

So aunty please let me know what are the signs I should look for which indicated that my wife likes adultrous things & any advice regarding this, any do’s & dont’s are well come.

Reply as soon as possible, will be waiting.

Aunty Anjali says:

Hi Crazy Hubby.

First off I think you are walking down a really dangerous road here. That is not to say that it can’t lead to a great and open sex life with your wife for the rest of your days but there is much greater chance that the whole thing blows up in your face and you are left with a broken relationshiop or even a divorce.

I would say that most men have fantasies of extra-marital sex wether it is the hubby having sex with another woman, or the wife having sex with a man or threesomes and more somes. This is just the way guys think it seems. The reality is that these fantasies rarely play our the way you invision. Most of the time one partner is not that intersted and the rest of the time there are jealousy issues at stake.

Having said all that if you still want to give it a try, you need to start with the conversation on this somehow. Joking about it always works. If you see a sexy movie scene make a comment about it or maybe you notice a stranger looking at her, make a sexy comment, or perhaps you catch her looking at a stranger. If you make your way to a beach, catch her looking at a well endowed man and make a comment like “he looks like he packs a real punch” or something like that. See what her reaction is to these comments.

The best advice for not breaking up your relationship over this is to take your time. Make sure that she is into it before you come out and say something.

Maybe some readers of FSI blog have done this before and can comment on how they got their wife or husband into this. Just ignore the comments like “just tell her to do it”
Good luck!

If you have a question that you’d like Aunty Anjali to answer click here and leave a comment at the bottom of this post with your question in it!

divya says:

Hi anjali aunty, I am going to do a thing which I thought I would never do. I need your advice on this.

I never had a boyfriend my first sex was with my hubby. It’s been three years since our marriage & I started loosing intrest in sex with my hubby just after four months after my marriage. when ever my husband wants I push my self to satisfy him, but I don’t get satisfied. I love my husband & I will always keep loving him. But for the sake of sexual pleasure I have started to look towards some one else.

This man works in my office, although much elder to me he is not married. He has been looking at me for some time now & offlate I also have developed intrest in him. We have started talking & that’s how I know that he is not married & he knoes about my married life.

When I started talking to him, some of my close female coworkers told me not to get close to him as he goes to hookers & things like that & this is where I really got turned on & intrested in him. I thought to my self that what ever he does is his problem, but if he is going to hookers then he must be really knowing how to satisfy a girl & I feel that I will get what I want with him.

Well I ignored my friends advice & kept talking to him & now we are like really close & we both have expressed our feelings to eachother & it’s not the question of if it happens but when it happens & when ever it happens I want to go for it.

As i am doing it for the first time, there is always the element of guilt of having sex with some other man, but I guess If I have to expierence the true pleasure of sex I have to overcome my guilt & I am mentally prepared to do it.

I need your advice, please advice me on how to go about the whole thing & when I finally sleep with him I don’t think it will be a one night stand, because both of us would want to do it again & again for some time. So is there anything I should keep in mind before going ahead with this.

Please reply

Aunty Anjali says:

Hello Divya.

I think that you are really setting yourself up for a big disappointment here. You think that just because he is having sex left and right that he knows what he is doing. If he is having sex with hookers don’t you think that would mean he has trouble finding sex elsewhere and has to pay women to satify him. If he was a real good lover women would flock to him instead of him paying the girls. Just something to think about.

I would not recommened you go down this path for many reasons. First off you have only had sex with one man and he is your husband. Your bad sex life with him is as much your fault as it is his. Have you told your husband that you are not happy in bed or do you simply pretend everything is ok? I think you should tell your new husband how you feel about your love life and work with him to improve it. There are many things you can do to spice up your relationship together.

Don’t run to another man just because you are too shy to talk to your husband and share your feelings.

Good luck!

If you have a question that you’d like Aunty Anjali to answer click here and leave a comment at the bottom of this post with your question in it!