This Sardarji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts."
The doctor says "OK. Touch your elbow."
The Sardarji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doctor, surprised, says "Touch your head." The Sardarji touches his head and jumps in agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere the Sardar touches it hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with x-rays, etc. and tells the Sardar to come back in two days.
Two days later the Sardar comes back and the doctor says: "We've found your problem."
"Oh yeah? What is it?"
"You've broken your finger."

A Bihari was working in Mumbai and he did not meet this wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar ).

At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had
delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this “Happy event” happened when he had not seen his wife for four years…

The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked him, “What name will you give to the son?”

The man explained, “If its the second neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be “DWIVEDI”;

If it is the third neighbour then it would be “TRIVEDI”,

If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be “CHATURVEDI”;

If its the fifth neighbour then it would be “PANDEY”…

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours?
“Then the boy would be named “MISHRA”…

And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be “SHARMA”…

But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be “GUPTA”…

If she does not remember the name then?
“It is YAAD-AV”

But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape?
Then it will be named “DOSHI”…

Finally, if the child happened because of wife’s burning desire?
Then he will be named “JOSHI”…

And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?
“DESHPANDEY.”

Little Johnny and his grandfather are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The grandfather takes out a cigarette and lights it.

Little Johnny says, “Grandpa, can I try one of your cigarettes?”

“Can you touch your butt with your penis?”

“No,” replies Little Johnny.

“Then, you’re not big enough,” explains the grandfather.

A few minutes pass, and the man takes a beer out of his cooler and opens it.

Little Johnny then asks, “Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?”

“Can you touch your asshole with your penis?”

“No,” says Little Johnny.

“Then, you’re not old enough.”

Time passes and they continue to fish. Little Johnny gets hungry so he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies, and eats one.

The grandfather looks at him and says, “They look good, can I have one of your cookies?”

“Can you touch your asshole with your penis?”

“I most certainly can!” says the grandfather proudly.

“Then go fuck yourself… these are my cookies!”

A man is opening a restaurant and he asks one of his workers to come up with a name for it.

The man tells Al, one of his workers, that he will name the resaurant after the first thing Al sees when he goes out the door.

Al walks outside and the first thing he saw was a girl named Lucy and he saw her legs. He told the man, and so the restaurant was named Lucy’s Legs. The man was so impressed that he said the next day Al could get a free drink.

The next day Al comes a bit early and a policeman walks by and notices Al waiting there. The policeman asks, “What are you doing?”

Al says, “I’m waiting for Lucy’s legs to open so I can get a drink.”

There were three men drinking in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring.”
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn’t like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet.”
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn’t like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself!”

One day , at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin tight miniskirt.
When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little.
She still could not reach the step.

Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more.
Still, she couldn’t reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn’t reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus.

The girl turned around furiously and said, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don’t even know you!”
Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma’am, after you reached around and unzipped my pants three times, I thought that we were friends.”

A population control program had been introduced in a remote village, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.

Doctor told Santa, who had 4 children in four years, that he absolutely had to wear a condom. Doctor explained that as long as he wore it his wife could not have another baby.

About a month later Santa's wife, Jeeto, came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called Santa in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked Santa why he hadn't worn the condom.

The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it off."

The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?"

"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end off."

Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.

Jeeto said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."

"As you wish," said Santa.

"Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?" asked Jeeto.

"Ok," said Santa.

"And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?" asked Jeeto.

"That's right," said Santa, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'"

 Story of Akbar and Tansen

Tansen was a high ranking official in King Akbar's court. However he had one longstanding wish - to suck the queen's voluptuous breasts to his heart's desire.

Every time he passed the queen he would get frustrated. He revealed his desire to Birbal one day, and begged him to do something about it.

Birbal, after much thought, agreed on the condition that Tansen could suck the breasts to his desire but later he would have to pay Birbal 1000 gold coins for it.

Tansen agreed. The next day Birbal prepared a high voltage itching lotion and poured it into the queen's bra while she was taking a bath. Soon the itching started and grew in intensity much to the king's anxiety.

Consultations with doctors and Birbal revealed that a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure it. Birbal also added that such a saliva was only in Tansen 's mouth.

Akbar summoned Tansen and for the next 4 hours Tansen violently sucked the queen's breasts. Licking, biting, pressing, playing he got what he always desired. Satisfied he returned back and met Birbal, but in his lust and since his mission was over, he refused to pay Birbal anything and in fact shooed him away.

Tansen of course knew that Birbal could never report this matter to the emperor since he was instrumental in it himself. What Tansen did not know was what Birbal would do the next day......

Scroll down .......
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!

"Birbal duly put that lotion in Emperor Akbar's underwear"

Filmi Names of Penis:

1-3 Yrs. Ankur

4-6 Yrs. Massom

7-12 Yrs. Parvarish

13-16 Yrs. Parivartan

17-22 Yrs. Pyasa

23-35 Yrs. Shikari

36-50 Yrs. Masterji

51-60 Yrs. Kabhi-Kabhi

61-75 Yrs. Yaadein