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Audio Quality : High
Duration : 2.46 Min
File Format : MP4 (5.83 Mb)
Blowjob Etiquettes for Men - Kindly written by a woman
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is notstandard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last Iheard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANTpuke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does Not mean that it's "hummer week" - get itthrough your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don'tfeel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sexright now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high schoolgirls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with myMidol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don'ttell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediatelyafterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to berepeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculateabout the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happythat we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care aboutthe protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't getblow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate toeither sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I haveto "kiss it good morning".
An Essay by Pappu
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.' So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused.
So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.
She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on,' she said, 'We don't have much time.'
So I climbed on her. I inserted my penis into her hole it was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and, Phachhak.... I was done.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown and asked, 'Did you put that condom on?'
I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.
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Audio Quality : High
Duration : 4.55 Min
File Format : MP4 (6.73 Mb)