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Night Stay!!!

There was a group of army men marching down a road at night looking for a place to stay. They came upon a farm house and knocked on the door. A old farmer answered, the Sargent asked if they could spend the night. The man said yes but he only had room for one man.

The Sergeant yelled out to Private Peters, "You spend the night here and we will go down the road and find the rest of us a place to stay."

They went on down the road and came upon a whorehouse where they proceeded to knock on the door.

A women leaned out the window and asked, "What do you want?"

The Sergeant replied, "We need a place to stay."

The women asked, "How many are there of you?"

The Sergeant said, "39 without Peters."

The women then said, "Well, grease your fingers and come on in boys....."

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What's SRH???

Myrddin and Jill are out and about. Jill notices that Myrddin is a bit pissy during the evening, so she finally brings it up.

"Myrddin, you've been cranky all damned day. What the hell is wrong with you. You're acting like you've got PMS."

"Naw, I don't have PMS, but I definitely think I'm suffering from the male counterpart. I call it SRH."

"SRH? What's that?"

"Sperm Retention Headache."

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Wear Condoms!

A population control program had been introduced to a remote island, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.

One of the men who came in had fathered eight children in eight years, and the doctor told him that he absolutely had to wear a sheath. He explained that as long as he wore it his woman could not have another baby.

About a month later, the wife came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called the man in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked the man why he hadn't worn the sheath.

The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it off."

The doctor shook his head, "In that case, ask him how his wife got pregnant again?"

"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end off."

A Trip to the Farm

Little Johnny's class is on a field trip to the farm.

The teacher asks, "Can anyone tell the class what that is?" (pointing)

Mary replies, "That is a sheep, it has wool."

The teacher said, "Very good, Mary. Now who knows what that is?" (pointing)

Freddie answered, "That's a cow. It gives milk."

This repeats for all the animals and most of the implements of the farm. Finally the teacher points at an object on the barn roof and asks, "And who knows what that is?"

Little Johnny says, "That's a weathercock. It tells the wind direction."

The teacher replied, "And why is it called a weathercock?"

Little Johnny said "Cause if it was a weathercunt, the wind would blow right through it."

Engineer vs Doctor!

Doctor Saab, Main Jab Bhi Apni Biwi Ki Leta Hun Toh Andar Jaa Ke Mera Teda Ho Jaata Hai.

Doctor Ko Yakeenn Nahi Hota. Vo Engineer Ko Kehta Hai Ki Apni Biwi Ko Clinic Mein Lekar Aao.

Kuch Time K Baad Engineer Apni Biwi Ko Lekar Aata Hai Aur Doctor Ke Saamne Us Ke Saath Sex Kata Hai. Doctor Maze Le Lekar Dekhta Rehta Hai. Phir Bahana Banate Hue Kehta Hai Ki Baad Mein Aana Aur Unko Vaha Se Bhej Deta Hai.

Kuch Din Baad Kisi Shaadi Mein Soctor Apne doston Ke Saath Engineer Ka Mazaak Udaa Raha Hota Hai Ki Kaise Us Bewakoof Ne Apni Biwi Ke saath Mere Saamne Sex Kiya.

Dusri Taraf Engineer Apne Doston Ke Saath Khada Ho Ke Us Doctor Ka Mazaak Udaate Hue Kehta Hai, "Yaar Kuch Din Pehle Ek Tharki Ladki Mil Gayi, Per Karne Ki Jagah Nahin Mili Toh Is Doctor Ke Clinic Mein Jaakar Meine Sex Kiya!"

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