John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens) called 'pullets', and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster, old Paul, was a very fine specimen, but this morning, he noticed old Paul's bell hadn't rung at all.
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming would run for cover. To John's amazement, old Paul had his bell in his beak,so it wouldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Paul, he entered him in the Bairnsdale Agricultural Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Paul the "No-Bell Peace Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsur-prise" as well.
Clearly old Paul was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
Vote carefully in the coming election......
The bells are not always audible!
A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents' room, and he decided to investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth.
"DAD!" he shouted. "What are you doing?"
"It's ok," his father replied. "Your mother wants a baby, that's all."
The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face.
Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father.
"DAD!" he shouted. "What are you doing now?"
"Son, there's been a change of plan," his father replied. "Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW."
A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked the owner if he would tattoo the words "Yes" and "No" on his penis. The owner agreed, and the tattooing was underway. When the job was complete, the man thought his new tattoo looked great, and he paid for the service.
That night when the man went home he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants, then his boxer shorts, and there was his aroused organ displaying his newly acquired tattoo.
He asked his wife, "Well Honey, what do you think of my new tattoo?"
His wife became upset. She said...
"You tell me how to cook... You tell me how to clean the house... You tell me how to do the laundry...